Friday, June 06, 2008

Expectation !

Sitting on an office chair and looking at an imaginary roof, just thinking what’s wrong with me.
Why I am not happy.. why I am not able to keep her happy? What is there which keeps bothering me and her every time. Then after lot of churning the forth came up and named it as Expectation.
Every day I wake up with a willingness to improve, improve for her, with her, by her, all for her happiness through our mutual effort. She has always been with me but I am not able to set her free the way she wants and in the same way I want to be caged in her arms forever but she is not able to do that either.
I don’t why things are getting strange with our self. I don’t know (her favorite word) but something is wrong with the relationship. I want to keep my relationship intact and strong and as my baby (as she says). I keep questioning keep running from post to pillar every time to keep her close to me .... Do I do enough to keep her close to me?.... or is there anything I am missing ??
I wish I could do something miraculous but unfortunately I can’t..... All I can say I really love you and I will change for our self and will love you the most and I miss you a lot ..
She keeps on saying that I expect a lot and with God’s grace she is able to deliver her best. But what keeps bothering her and me is that “yeh dil maange more”
With an urge to improve myself I keep going through lot of stuff to read related to expectation and once I read that when you start you expect a lot and all you get is nothing .......
I expect her to care the same the way I care for her but ?....I guess no one is perfect .... There are some negative and positive in each and every person .... Instead of having everything in your mind ... you can try to change ... Change for someone... Change for good.
I love you and I want you to be mine.

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