Monday, February 25, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
You came to my life..
Your love was a pure drop of water,
For my thirsty heart,
Finally I have got it..
I can swear,
My love is forever,
I never lied to you,
Coz I didn’t want to lose you,
Now you are going to go far away from me,
Once my heart bear the pain,
Coz of your love,
But this time..
How could I blame you?
My sweet girl,
Before you leave,
Pls do only one thing for me,
How to live without you . . .
Monday, February 18, 2008
“It is important to be a student everyday of your life. I am one and that is how I have learnt so far. I also know that there is more to learn. And I am sure with this attitude, the journey will continue. That’s because I believe it’s the journey that matters and not the destination. This belief has worked, at least for me
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out and apologize for things I have done
And things that have not occurred yet
And the things they don't want to take responsibility for
I'm sorry for the times I left you home alone
I'm sorry for the times that I had to go
I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know
That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I'm sorry for the times I would neglect
I'm sorry for the times I disrespect
I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done
I'm sorry for the fact that I am not aware
That you can't sleep at night when I am not there
Sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I am so proud to call you my girl
I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
Sorry for the things that he put you through
And all the times you didn't know what to do
I'm sorry that you had to do it on your own
I'm sorry that I went and added to your grief
I wish I would've listened and not be so bad
I'm sorry your life turned out this way
I'm sorry the FEDS came and took me away
I'm sorry that it took so long to see
They were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I'm sorry that it took so long to speak
For the embarrassment that she felt
Just a little young girl trying to have fun
I hope I manage better next time around
And you can put that blame on me
Saturday, February 16, 2008
I remember that Day,
The first time on the first night,
I love you when you said.
I feel you the same way,
Adorable and charming,
which took my heart away.
Its perfectly you "MY LOVE"
I still feel your hand in mine,
warm hug ,sweet kiss,
Ur memories are divine.
This is how I define
U are caring, U are perfect,
U are absolutely fine.
The sweet smile on your face
And the tone of your voice,
so soothing, can't leave anyone in disgrace.
You give the healing touch.
Every moment I need you beside me,
TO let you know, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
Its perfectly you my love, my SWEET love
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
This was the scene of ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between u seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy.! But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Then Dew came into my life..It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls." Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said," You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company." Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to go and see it with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy with work around the house. I was sitting in front of the TV. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slight joking way, "suppose we divorce, what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that 'divorce' was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you,"I said.
She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want a divorce." I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why..?". "I'm serious." I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threwaway the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man!".
And that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find
out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer,
because my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her
cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something
at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over
and was asleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before the divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me.
I nodded and said, "I remember..". "You carried me in your arms", she continued, "so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning."
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her
marriage with a romantic form.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce," she saidscornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention. I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son. "I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus, I drove to office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate
woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine
wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there."
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while looking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.
I didn't tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now."
She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." He said. To him, seeing his
father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to
come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change
my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the
sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her
body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to
school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.."
I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious."
She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. "You got no fever." She said.I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.."
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was herfavorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old . . ."
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, hefinally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When theboy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocentlysaid, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when aremy fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committedsuicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or uwish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience withsomeone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelingsoften can't. Too often we fail to recognise the difference betweenthe person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness isgreater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
When I see you smile,
The smile so expressive,
So pleasant and so good,
I feel the happiness in my way with your smile.
All i wish is that one smile…
Something I have taken away from you.
Give me one chance to give it to you
I'll be content with that one smile...
I wish you keep smiling all day with no worries around…
I really and actually love you…..
Keep your contagious smile on…
"Make our world beautiful" . . .
Maut ko dhokha de kar aaya hun.....
aa jaao thaam loh mujhko jaaneman....
tumhen apnaa samajh kar hi......
aavaaz de rahaa hunn.....
aakhir tumhen aanaa hi hoga .....
seene se joh lagaanaa hai .....
aakhir tumhen aanaa hai.., I know ki zaraa der lagegi....
Monday, February 04, 2008
Promised myself not to tell…
But couldn't help the heart's outburst - which kept echoing
I MISS YOU ... I Love you … I need you
I know my existence means nothing to you,
You may have not loved me for a moment after that night
No qualm, no grudges nor complain,
though accepting this truth does cause a lot of pain, that you aren’t with me.
You will never know the emotions that flow
when I hear your delightful voice on your office phone
They are the treasured moments that make me happy when I'm feeling blue.
My love for you grows stronger as time goes by,
I MISS YOU so much - I could just cry but you will never see my tears.
I wish every one is as 'ugly duckling’ like her !!
Eva Longoria admitted to being the “ugly duckling” of her family, and having been bullied for her looks when she was young. Even though Eva has turned out to be one of the most glamourous women with a number of rewarding deals with cosmetic companies, she obviously has not forgotten that her nickname while growing up was “ugly duckling”, reports a British newspaper.
Longoria, who recently married US basketball player Tony Parker, recounted how her nickname came to be. “I was the darkest in my family. I was the only one with black hair and the only one with dark skin. All my sisters were light blondes with hazel eyes. They used to call me ugly duckling,” a website quoted her as saying. “I grew up without being beautiful. So I kind of relied on my personality and my character,” she added.“I kind of developed a skill not to depend on anything superficial because I didn’t have anything superficial to depend on,” she added. Agencies
Sunday, February 03, 2008
When all the world is new,
But I know the day cant bring joy,
Because I don't have you to give me wake up call @ 8:15.
Your tender smile for me,
The charm of you,
I miss you in the noontide,
The crowded office seems like a desert now,
But there was only one of you to tell me to have food @ 1.00
The light touch of your hand,
So sure to understand.
When daylight fades away @ 4:45
I miss the sheltering arms of you,
To rest me for the day,
Weary at last, I sleep without fighting,
With no one to say " I love you angel "
And I still miss you in my dreams . . .